December 2010
22 posts
“I NEVER scratch my Yahtzee!”
– My grandmother. For context, we were, in fact, playing Yahtzee.
After spending Christmas with my family.
My New Year’s Resolutions are as follows:
Lose weight so my family can find something else to talk about
Charming moments from the week include:
finding out that my dad’s dog Jessica was named not after the Allman Brothers song as he had always said, but in fact after a Dune character;
learning that when my grandma told us she didn’t like to drink anymore she meant she...
Every time I watch Hoarders and they uncover a gas...
Clearly, my next career will be in teaching...
julia: i mean like the whole trifecta of christianity and judaism and islam are all not super enabling with the sexy
Need-to-know. →
I have now devoted my life almost entirely to...
After a night spent drinking now-illegal Four Loko & vodka combos out of an ice luge with retired frat boys, and then staggering home with Lucas in the pouring rain, we woke up with a hankering for KFC (the usual) and a need to watch terrible reality television (also the usual).
On our way to the KFC drive-thru, we remembered that many Americans wake up on Sunday morning with a hankering to...
“Sometimes, I work really hard to say funny things to you via gchat in hopes i...”
– Sarah
Now and again I find myself hoping I’m PMSing because then it won’t be my fault I’m acting like a heinous bitch. Come to think of it, I have this thought about once a month, so I guess I’m doing just fine.
Yesterday my coworker bought me a chocolate bar, I think because I was being insufferable. And it was delicious.
“God damn I want a beer or scotch right now.
I think I inherited a genetic...”
– My little brother.
Ex boyfriend: So I've started going to therapy
Me: Yeah?
Ex: Yeah, he says I build up walls so I don't have to connect emotionally with the world
Me: Sounds like he and I should get coffee together
Ex: Yeah, I'll give you his email.
To further qualify my new love affair with Andy...
I bought a grapefruit at a department store last night because I became suddenly and completely convinced that I had given myself scurvy after eating nothing but Top Ramen since I ran out of Thanksgiving leftovers.
My brother the poet
me: you know about this right [http://www.nasa.gov/topics/universe/features/astrobiology_toxic_chemical.html]
brother: yeah
i was talking to a nasa administrator last year who said they're all quite sure we'll find microbial life on mars pretty soon
me: DANG
brother: and probably some shizz on the moons of the gas giants
me: that was the most amazing sentence ever
brother: thanks.
This is the only part of "being in holiday... →
The venerable Jesse Myerson, doing his best to... →
